There's no better way to describe where I'm at. In every aspect of my life I feel like I'm changing: emotionally, socially, professionally, spiritually. When everything inside me is a work in progress it is difficult to tell what stage I'm at...
Girl? Not anymore.
Woman? Not quite.
Child? Nope, too old.
Adult? Hm that's a tricky one...
Student? Yes, in a way...
Teacher? Not completely, but I'm working on it.
Conservative? Progressive?
Actually...I know the answer to that one!
I know that there is no clear division between these stages, but how am I to define myself when I fall somewhere in between it all? And, if I do not know how to define myself can I legitimately know what I want?
My dear Angie-uuuh once told me, "Our hearts are not what they used to be when we were 19." Shoots, my heart is not what it used to be this past June. I've been in New York for four months now and I just finished my first month of teaching. I may be overreacting and I know this time of night is conducive to nonsensical non sequitirs but I wish I had a better idea of what exactly I'm trying to accomplish while being here. Or, am I just in this for the experience?
I know, only I can really answer these questions, but...I'd appreciate your thoughts if you'd like to share.
1 comment:
Hey ---
I don't know if this is an actual answer..but the answer to what "stage" you are in is the title of your post. In transition. I'm not one to like labels, as long as you are reflective (which clearly you are) on what your values are, what your decision making process is, and who you believe you are. "Who you are" can just be how you would respond to a situation, your maturity, or anything. Really, what is an adult? I see 50 year olds acting stupid and profound maturity in 10 year olds.
As long as you can find some sense of self, and maybe (this can be ambitious) some sense of inner peace...it's all good. Society wants you to bubble, conservative or progressive, M or F, single or married -- why box yourself in when other people do it enough. Just work on loving yourself and what you do. Sorry if this is to "zen" or abstract or whatever..I've been having a tendency to..be philosophical. Hopefully this is helpful or at least brings you some positivity!
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