hills and valleys

The other day was not so great; it may have started with the lack of sleep the night before or just the immense responsibility that follows me like a shadow. By 2:30 pm on Thursday my patience had run low, my students were frustrated, and so was I. One student in particular was not engaged in the class activity and when I spoke to him he responded with the oh-so-aggravating "uh huh, sure, okay" with just a tinge of attitude. I was so upset that I could not get through to this student and felt the tears rising. Thank goodness I remembered that I had to look presentable for parent teacher conferences later that day. I got through the class with no tears shed, but with a feeling of impotence. But get this, only twenty minutes after class ended the same frustrating student graciously helped clean up my lab so that it could be squeaky clean for the parents. WTH

Parent teacher conferences (PTC) had its ups and downs. Teaching is tough when I feel like I want my students to succeed more than they do. Meeting the parents showed me that they too feel their children are not prioritizing their school responsibilities; this was strangely comforting to hear. It seems that an epidemic of senioritis has struck early this year, which scares me...A LOT.

One of the scariest moments from PTC occurred when a student got a little lippy with his parents after they expressed concerns about the student's relationship with his girlfriend. The father quickly rose from his chair, got up in his son's face and threatened, "You wanna keep up that attitude? You better be careful before you get smacked right here."

Thank goodness I was not alone at the time, my mentor was also in the room. As I witnessed this my heart was pounding and I was frightened, but my body did not react. I remained neutral and reminded myself that the father's reaction was not out of the ordinary for my student to experience. The conference ended shortly after the incident and I was assured that the family would have words when they returned home and that my student would not cause any more trouble.

My favorite moment from PTC occurred when a student introduced me to her mother. Her mother greeted me with the warmest hug I've ever received from a stranger. (Dominican mothers pretty much rock.) It felt great to be welcomed by my student's mom; it felt even greater to report on her daughter's positive progress in chemistry.

PTC taught me a little more about my students' backgrounds (for better or for worse), which I hope will benefit me in the classroom. You know, I'm beginning to understand the adage "it takes a village to raise a child."

P.S. Apologies for not updating in more than a week. October's been hectic.

old enough to be a chaperone

My favorite field trips in school include the farm in 3rd grade, camp at Catalina in 5th grade, outdoor ed. camp in 6th grade, Washington DC in 8th grade, Knott's Berry Farm for band in jr. high, and Six Flags for fall rally in high school. As a student, field trips were a day of fun. As a teacher, they are brief but coveted respites from hectic school days.

Today I took on the role of chaperone as ~40 of our high school seniors left the south Bronx to go apple picking. Yes, apple picking. Apparently it's an east coast thing...

While planning for the trip my students all decided that they did not want to pay more than $10 to go apple picking. Upon arrival at the orchard they were each given a bag with a carrying capacity of 6 decent sized apples (lame, i know). The orchard lady wanted to charge $20 each to get a larger bag... So, being the resourceful south Bronx youth that they are, my students brought out their backpacks, bags and big sweaters and picked all the apples they could carry. Ethical? Not so much. Funny? Entirely. Did I condone it? Let's just say the orchard isn't empty, so no big deal. As one can imagine plucking fruit from a tree isn't so easy for someone of my stature. Thankfully my students were generous enough to help a teacher out and I came home with half a bushel of hand picked apples.

The bus ride back was a trip down memory lane. I don't know how my students have become so educated in jams from my youth (and even before my time!) but they were belting out old songs like nobody's business. Some surprising serenades included: Too Close by Next, Candy Rain by Soul for Real, and my personal favorite Weak by SWV.

I enjoyed interacting with my students outside of school and seeing them in their own clothes (rather than in uniform). My students can totally be pains, but they really are sweethearts when it comes down to it.

group shot in the orchards

guess who wanted to take this picture :)

prep time

Mondays and Wednesdays are my lighter days of the week.  After my hour long commute from Queens through Manhattan into the Bronx (that's a total of 3 boroughs a day!) I arrive at my school to be greeted by my (mostly) wonderful students.  And, instead of teaching, for the first 97 minute period of the day I have prep.

Prep in the morning is a blessing.  It allows me to get in my groove for the day.  Since I usually hide out in the 12th grade team office, I use my prep time to grade, plan, and relax to my Lauryn Hill Pandora station.

I've done what I feel like doing for today's prep period, I've got a cool activity planned for class (which starts in 10 minutes), and thanks to Yom Kippur I don't have school tomorrow.  Today will be a good day :)

in transition

There's no better way to describe where I'm at. In every aspect of my life I feel like I'm changing: emotionally, socially, professionally, spiritually. When everything inside me is a work in progress it is difficult to tell what stage I'm at...

Girl? Not anymore.
Woman? Not quite.

Child? Nope, too old.
Adult? Hm that's a tricky one...

Student? Yes, in a way...
Teacher? Not completely, but I'm working on it.

Conservative? Progressive?
Actually...I know the answer to that one!

I know that there is no clear division between these stages, but how am I to define myself when I fall somewhere in between it all? And, if I do not know how to define myself can I legitimately know what I want?

My dear Angie-uuuh once told me, "Our hearts are not what they used to be when we were 19." Shoots, my heart is not what it used to be this past June. I've been in New York for four months now and I just finished my first month of teaching. I may be overreacting and I know this time of night is conducive to nonsensical non sequitirs but I wish I had a better idea of what exactly I'm trying to accomplish while being here. Or, am I just in this for the experience?

I know, only I can really answer these questions, but...I'd appreciate your thoughts if you'd like to share.